Death Has Blue Eyes (1975) Skittish Greek Misadventures with the Lads (Review)

Greece isn’t exactly at the top of world cinema exporters – however, two names that have any cultural cache are Yorgos Lanthimos and the late Theo Angelopoulos. Even with that being the case, the country still managed to produce one of the nastier examples of 1970s horror, Nico Mastorakis’s Island of Death. The only way to describe that film is to label it as Greece’s answer to Visitor Q – a film that Takashi Miike directed during his hyper-prolific peak, one which he used as a vehicle to break as many taboos as possible. It is not an easy watch, and neither is the Island of Death – but the difference with Miike’s film is that it at least has the consolation of being directed by a grafter with talent. I’m not sure I’d describe Mastorakis that way; I’d say he is more of a ballsy chancer. Either way, Arrow Video have begun to dig into his filmography with their new release of Death has Blue Eyes, a title that screams Giallo, whereas the truth couldn’t be further away.

An easy way to describe 1975’s Death has Blue Eyes would be to incite Giulio Paradisi’s insane 1979 classic, The Visitor. That film bounced around the map, flamboyantly surreal in its dancing around then-contemporary plot beats of horror cinema. Arrow Video’s new release has a similar narrative construction, only worse. While sounding like a golden-era Giallo, this hits closer to the horny British sexploitation “classics” of the 70s, including ‘classics’ such as Confessions of a Window Cleaner. Then it introduces a beautiful psychic woman who at one stage stops one of the leads having sex by psychically “deflating his pride”, then there’s a political thriller with assassins and chase sequences, and, well, you get the idea – it bounces all over the map with all the nous of a Wakaliwood production, just nowhere near as charming.

Whether you are talking about Israel, America, the UK or Japan, the 1970s were packed with films designed to get teenagers bums on seats to see some t and a. From Porkies to the Japanese Pink Eiga – films that run across the taste map from trash to high art.

One scene will help you understand entirely the level this is pitched at. After being chased away from a hotel after trying to get a free meal, Robert Kowalski (Peter Winter) & Ches Gilford (Hristos Nomikos) head to a flat where the latter is staying. Once they arrive, they meet by a girlfriend of Ches – she is completely naked save for an Apron. Ches says to his friend, Bob, [I’m paraphrasing], “you’ve had a bad day, why don’t you spend some time with [his girlfriend]”. So the two head to the bedroom, where the pair start fooling around, a romp cut short by Ches’s girlfriend biting. After a bit of cheeky 70s banter, the pair head to the bedroom again, where they both start fooling around with the still-naked girl (she never gets dressed). Cut in with this scene shots of a stately woman being driven to the flat to catch up with Ches, who she dearly misses, and what word should she utter? “I’m on my way, Ches. I’m coming”.

I’ll cut that recollection there, yet it goes on a good while longer, concluding with the flat owner throwing everyone out of the flat, naked. The film continues this attitude to sexuality and nudity throughout its duration. There’s a scene late on in which Bob gets the jump on an assassin who happens to be a busty, beautiful woman. And what should happen? Yes, Bob tells the would-be killer to get undressed at gunpoint. Sleazy, thy name is Death has Blue Eyes.

Let me be absolutely frank. Death has Blue Eyes is a bad film. It is cheap, awfully acted, sleazy, artless and always boring. Whatever you think of how it unfolds (or undresses might be a more apt word choice), it moves with solid momentum, never overstays its welcome and is never less than audacious. This fodder is ready to be lapped up by those of you who believe in the idea of a film being “so bad it’s good”. The sub-Carry musical accompaniment will help because no matter how crass and dumb it gets, it always knows what it’s doing. It’s still awful. If my description of the cheek of the film and its protagonists makes you laugh or smile – this might be one to try out with a few friends and a few beers. That’s “might”, by the way – even then, I’d still give this film a wide berth.

Death Has Blue Eyes: Pop Screen