Classic Film Kid: Home Alone

Hi everyone, it’s me again, the Classic Film Kid,  and I thought with Christmas less than a week away, we would review a classic festive adventure, and what better than Home Alone, the classic Christmas family comedy (without the family, like it says on the poster) starring a whole ton of people, including Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’ Hara, Devin Retray and more.

If you’ve never seen Home Alone, 1. Where on earth have you been? This is what it’s about. Macaulay Culkin plays Kevin McCallister, the youngest member of a huge family (that hate him) that is going on a vacation for Christmas. But when they oversleep and nearly miss their plane on the morning of departure, they are in such a hurry they completely forget Kevin. Kevin takes advantage of this, but when he discovers a burglar duo plan a heist on his house, he must try and have as much fun as he can whilst plotting a complicated defence scheme to protect his home against the Wet Bandits.

Now, this is one of my favourite Christmas films of all time. I love Home Alone so much, as well as the second one, and yes, I even quite like the third one too. But this is about the first one, and I definitely would say that this is the best one. Now, yes, there are logical flaws in this movie, many logical flaws. Two of the biggest flaws I think are, how come the parents haven’t been at least arrested for completely forgetting their son? and as well as that, how come the Wet Bandits haven’t died from their injuries in the booby traps? but never mind, there are a lot of things I love about this film, and here they are.

Macaulay Culkin is fantastic as Kevin McCallister, he was very charismatic for a nine-year-old and really works well with the other stars.

I reckon you all saw this coming, the booby traps. The booby traps are I think a mixture of funny, sickening and creative because the traps are really brutal, but they just make sure you laugh, and they get the mix of downright hilarious and full-on violent just right.

Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are great as the Wet Bandits, they’re so stupid which is what the characters need to be but they are still quite threatening in places, which I think works well too. Can I say, if they wanted the McCallister family to be nice, then they failed miserably. If they were planning on making them cruel and vile, then they succeeded with flying colours because, good grief, what a bunch of horrible hell gods we’ve got here.

First, we have his Mum and Dad, played by Catherine O’ Hara and John Heard, respectively, who literally do not understand how to look after their child, meaning that by now, Kevin should be in foster care and his Mum and Dad need to go to severe parenting classes. Next, all of Kevin’s brothers, sisters, cousins, godsisters, whatever, are all complete and utter cowards. They treat Kevin like he’s a disease (which is actually what one of the characters describes Kevin as in the film, although I can’t remember which one), and constantly spoil themselves and let him spectate, as if he’s a slave watching his king master bathe in a bath of molten gold (that would burn him, but never mind.)

Uncle Frank – oh, good golly, Uncle Frank – is the tar icing on the poisonous cake. He thinks that everything is Kevin’s fault like he’s a dog gone wild. Actually, here’s an example. In the first ten minutes of the film, Kevin goes to fight his brother Buzz, played by Devin Retray, and during this time, John Heard’s character (Uncle Frank’s brother in the film) spills some soda over the family table, which proceeds to wet his jumper and he blames Kevin, even though you can see in the shot he’s looking at Heard’s arm as he knocks the soda can. Oh, and the cops should have been sacked long ago.

Anyway, that’s my rant on the McCallister family, let’s get into the juicy news, the logical flaws. Boy, this is going to be fun.

Now, these aren’t really spoilers because both of them you know about from the plot descriptions, but the McCallister family are in such a rush after they overslept that they forget Kevin. OK, I suppose in some sort of weird world, that might happen, but they don’t realise they’ve forgot him UNTIL THEY’RE ON THE FLIPPING PLANE! How could you get away with a thing like that? He could be being threatened (well, I suppose in a way, he is), and they should have been taken into custody by any security or police at that airport because you left your son all alone thousands of miles away from you.

As well as that, I can’t go by without mentioning that just a few injuries from what Kevin throws at them would cut these guys’ lives short like that. I mean, all of the stuff that he does to them, like shooting them with a BB gun, smashing their face with a hot iron, stepping on a nail barefoot (trust me, that one is unbearable to watch), all of these things, would probably kill them. But never mind, cause Home Alone does remain a firm Christmas favourite of mine, I think Macaulay Culkin is a great and funny child star, the film never drags, Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern are really enjoyable as the Wet Bandits, and it leads to a hilariously brutal climax. Home Alone gets a 9 out of 10.

Well, that’s all from me. In the New Year, I will be back with my review of The Matrix, and to keep with the festivities, merry Christmas! See you in 2017!