Hallmark films have a reputation for being obvious, laboured, schmaltzy and (perhaps impressively), both cheesy and corny, which makes them a fairly soft target for humour, and one that gets skewered in Five – a comedy horror from writer, director, and actor Dani Barker. The story follows the (mis)fortunes of struggling actor Melody (Teagan Vincze), whose problems are both personal and professional, and in order to reignite her career she takes a role in a Hallmark-esque film called Renovated Romance. Along for the ride are fellow actor Mark (Sean Depner), director Devyn (Lauren McGibbon), Tom the first assistant director (Broadus Mattison), and Melody’s sober coach Lala (Donna Benedicto), who could also be described as Melody’s handler. Videographer Regina (Georgia Bradner), is filming the behind-the-scenes for the production of Renovated Romance, but this takes on a further dimension when the cast and crew encounter unexpected difficulties in the form of possession and a deadly legacy.
The film within a film concept extends past the satirising of a particular genre and into the visual fabric of Five itself. At times, the aspect ratio and cinematography change, the image expanding when scenes from Renovated Romance are being shot, and the actors who are playing actors act at acting. These moments provide amusement, especially when Lala appears in Renovated Romance alongside Melody as Emma and Mark as Nathan, as her moments of floundering in front of the camera are quite funny. Other formats are also included in Five, from the TMZ style news report on Melody that opens the film, to the YouTube channel, Parawormhole, that appears during the story and over the end credits. The meta-cinematic concept is further extended as director Dani Barker plays the role of one of the hosts of Parawormhole.
This self-awareness of filmmaking and the different forms of media provide a certain amount of fun, especially the YouTube inserts that recall recent works such as Deathstream and Unfriended.
This self-awareness of filmmaking and the different forms of media provide a certain amount of fun, especially the YouTube inserts that recall recent works such as Deathstream and Unfriended, but a more screen-life/found footage approach might have been more enjoyable because overall, Five sadly fails to offer more than a hodgepodge of familiar horror tropes. From the opening, where a woman flees in desperation (which is reminiscent of works like The Hole, Martyrs and The Invisible Man), to jump scares (including brief gore), and sudden intrusions of ghoulish figures into frames both in the film, and in Renovated Romance. There’s a frantic investigation into the mysterious events that’s linked to a dark past because the production crew were unfortunate enough to choose the wrong place to film, and a midway introduction from Dr Crown (Karen Holness) – an expert in exposition who explains the plot and provides some less than gripping banter with a victim of possession. Alongside all of that, there’s also some remarkably straightforward Googling to ensure the necessary information is spelled out (rather than allowing for ambiguity or for people to figure things out for themselves), a growly demon voice, some physical contortions, skin rashes, colourful vomit, and an attempt at an exorcism because, clearly, what’s a tale of possession without it?
The continued presence of these tropes and clichés in horror, or indeed any other genre of cinema, is justified because they can be used effectively, but unfortunately there’s insufficient attention paid to them here. This lack of attention may be due to the film setting up too many narrative avenues and then leaning too little into any of them, for example Five sometimes seems to present a parallel between addiction and possession, but the engagement is simplistic at best and not explored in-depth. On other occasions it’s a rather blunt filmmaking satire where producers behave with absolute entitlement, while Devyn and Tom flip between exasperation and the desperate need to keep everyone happy. Worst of all are the attempts at comedy, from clumsy gags like Mark smelling of booze, Lala hobbling on crutches and confusing slapstick violence, to communication problems and the leaden spoofing of Hallmark clichés which, as noted previously, are a soft target.
The overall result of these underdeveloped aspects is that Five falls between the pillars that should hold it up, failing to be scary, funny, critical or insightful. To make matters worse, the film can feel painfully amateurish thanks to some garish visuals, and while it’s never pleasant to criticise an up-and-coming filmmaker, this feels like a bit of an overreach. That said, there is promise shown in the YouTube segments, which suggests that greater focus in terms of theme and narrative would give Barker more to explore in future work.
