Semolina Pilchard is the latest film from Liverpool-based independent filmmaker Mike Clarke, and, if you haven’t already guessed from its Beatles-inspired title, it’s a high-energy love letter to city. Released to Blu-ray via Clarke’s own label Last Slate Video from October 5th (it will be available to stream from November 2nd), the film is a one-of-a-kind comedy drama about a deeply dysfunctional Liverpudlian crime family, starring up and coming performers Sarah Louise Chadwick and Sophia Leanne Kelly alongside veteran Scouse talents such as Joe McGann, Louis Emerick and Ricky Tomlinson.
Chadwick stars as Clara Reynolds, the film’s heroine. Having spent the last five years away from Liverpool, Clara now finds herself summoned back home by her dying father, Gerry (Joe McGann). It is his final wish that Clara manages his business interests of providing Merseyside with a constant supply of drugs. Clara, whose own past issues with addiction have helped put her best mate Des (former EastEnders star Jack Ryder) in a wheelchair, understandably makes it clear that she wants nothing to do with her family’s nefarious activities, but Gerry is insistent that she be his successor.
Having helped run the business since Clara’s left, her little sister Danika (Sophia Leanne Kelly) is naturally far from happy with the news that their father plans to leave everything to the prodigal daughter. The solution to her woes, provided by mobile-game addicted heavy Davey (Joe Egan, Mike Tyson’s former sparring partner), is an unsurprisingly violent one; hire an assassin to deal with Clara. Enter Rosie (Alina Allison), a highly unpredictable and eccentric killer with dreams of becoming a pop star. And, if all that doesn’t sound dangerous enough, the Reynolds’ world is about to collide with a gang led by Max (Macaulay Cooper) who are responsible for a spate of post office robberies, armed and disguised by colourful animal masks – one of which is a walrus. Goo goo g’joob!
With its colourful characters, funny dialogue, chaotic criminal mishaps, and an eclectic soundtrack from the likes of OMD, Black and Amsterdam, Semolina Pilchard sees Clarke and co-writer Daina Ann Smith craft an involving, labyrinthine comedy of errors that recalls the early work of Guy Ritchie. However, unlike Ritchie and his ilk, Semolina Pilchard refreshingly places female characters at the heart of his underworld tale – an enjoyable and unorthodox choice that makes Clarke’s film stand out even more. A story about rogues requires a rogue’s gallery and Clarke assembles a cast who fit that bill perfectly. It’s fair to say that older hands such as the aforementioned McGann and Emerick, as well as James Dreyfus, Sidney Kean and Kate Fitzgerald lend some polish to the proceedings, but that’s not to say that the younger, less established actors at the core of the movie aren’t up to scratch.
Semolina Pilchard is a film packed with confidence and brio, to say nothing of a treasure trove of hidden references to The Beatles
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As Clara, Sarah Louise Chadwick provides Semolina Pilchard with enough heart to convey the emotional beats that drive the narrative beneath its many quirks and eccentricities. In her assured hands, Clara strikes you as a pragmatic, level headed soul who finds herself back in the eye of a storm that she had hoped to have put firmly behind her. It’s therefore very easy to sympathise with Chadwick as her character tries to navigate the growing insanity that surrounds her. With her life increasingly at risk, you feel her palpable fear and this gives an otherwise OTT film some fine dramatic grounding, as well as serving as a reminder of just what is at stake.
Whilst our sympathy comes naturally to Chadwick’s character it finds an unexpected quarter in the shape of Danika, as Sophia Leanne Kelly’s skilled performance allows us to consider just how unfair it is for her to be so roundly snubbed by her father. Meanwhile, Alina Allison grabs the film by the scruff of its neck with every opportunity to sell her batshit crazy character Rosie, injecting a particular kind of singular energy to the proceedings whenever she appears on screen. Elsewhere, Macaulay Cooper, Tim Lucas, Matthew Chan and Daniel Taylor (older audiences may remember him from the 90s BBC2 sitcom Game On and its episode Bruce Willis and Robert De Niro Holding a Fish, in which his character Patrick hilariously impersonates those Hollywood greats holding a fish – not, I presume, a pilchard!) are very good comic value as our less-than-fab four armed robbers. A lot of indie films can hit a duff note in terms of casting, with someone’s mate called upon to play a character and proving unable to deliver the goods.This isn’t the case with Semolina Pilchard as no one puts a foot wrong.
If I have one complaint though, it’s that sometimes some of the cast aren’t given enough to do. Fans of national treasure Ricky Tomlinson may be disappointed to discover that he gets just one scene during the film’s opening titles. It’s a scene without dialogue too, though it proves very memorable nonetheless. It’s certainly Tomlinson as you’ve never seen him before! However, McGann and Emerick are so good in their roles, that you’re actively hoping they get more screen time than they actually do. It’s especially galling in the case of Emerick as Donnelly, Gerry’s business partner and the man who Clara comes to wrongly suspect is behind the hit on her, because that aspect of the storyline comes far too late in the proceedings and is dealt with fairly swiftly. Emerick brings such a real quiet menace to his performance that you want to spend more time with this guy and it would have absolutely benefitted the film to have done so. Pacing is an issue with Semolina Pilchard and I do wonder if another pass on the screenplay could have afforeded the opportunity to restructure scenes in a way ensured characters like Donnelly and Max’s gang are introduced much earlier. I feel that, if this option were taken, things could have been tightened up a bit more for a more rewarding, and less baggy, viewing experience.
Nevertheless, Semolina Pilchard is a film packed with confidence and brio, to say nothing of a treasure trove of hidden references to The Beatles. Clarke has a sharp creative vision, uses transitions very well and has a great sense of both character and place. This is exemplified in his decision to shoot not just in Liverpool, but all over Merseyside and Cheshire too, lending a very striking and attractive visual quality that marks his film out from his standard gangster flick competitors. With a bigger budget and greater exposure I think Clarke could really make his mark on the British screen. As it stands, he is further testament to a blossoming Liverpudlian independent film industry.
The frankly lavish Blu-ray of Semolina Pilchard is stuffed with extras including one to one cast interviews, deleted scenes, trailers, featurettes, and Clarke’s short film Make Believe. There’s further goodies to be had in the shape of an O-Card, 4 collectable postcards and a reversible poster and sleeve featuring new artwork by Studio Gerrard. It is available to buy direct from Last Slade Video and from retailers such as HMV and Zavvi from October 5th.
SEMOLINA PILCHARD IS OUT FROM 5TH OCTOBER FROM LAST SLATE VIDEO
Mark’s Archive – Semolina Pilchard
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